A Personal Blog Experience Of J. Pearce Beissinger
Friday, December 11, 2009
The definition of perpetual availability as summoned, set to a predetermined time frame of which primary responsibility is transferred. It is is an interesting state of affairs to take call in medicine and surgery. It is humbling to think of the role that I have been given, of the responsibility and ability to make decisions that change lives. I cherish the opportunity in thought and pray that I never loathe it in practice.
Last night was a doozy. Strange and evil things can happen at night when the hospital hallways are quiet and empty; the monitors, ventilators, and pagers beep incessantly. A constant state of vigilance demands my attention. Each action has an effect and a side effect. Decisions are weighed carefully, never in a vacuum as the clock ticks closer to the morning hours. Eventually the sun rises, my prayers have been answered, the cardiac output has been maintained and I drift off into the slumber of a stale smelling mattress waiting for the next page. Yes, it is an awesome experience..the context of which maintains a presence as I return to life outside the concrete walls of the hospital. The sun beats down on my face as I walk to the car thinking about the last night and the duties of the next day. I can't wait to be home, to see my wife and her smile, to hug my kids.....and to sleep. Thank you Lord for yet another day done